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Verbal repartee

I'm planning for much squabbling/exchanges of insults between Noldar and Tarin. The thing is that Tarin isn't nearly as good with witty repartee as Noldar, and is almost always bested, to some extent, or another.

I am considering having Tarin's stock "I'm losing the verbal fencing match" move be to fall back on "You're an ass" (note that in this setting, they mean donkey, not backside). I'd like Noldar to have a different comeback, pretty much every time. THerefore, I am collecting witty responses to that. Please post, below. (:

"Pleased to be of service"
"I'll bet girls love your witty repartee"
"Is that the only word you know?"
"Very good, Tarin. For our next exchange, practice using words that start with 'b'!"

"You know what? Keep that angry look. It really works for you. It almost looks like you're thinking."

"Shall I cast a spell to correct your eyesight?"